get up and stop whining

I’m filled with my own thought and feeling miserable. Hate this kind of feeling - unsure, unsecure and helpless. Life is just not something I look forward to from the moment I wake up until off to bed. As if it’s not enough of torture, nightmare chase me to my dream waking me up grasping for air - breathless

I know I’m kinda a complain bitch these past few weeks. Wonder how did the hell Yew could stand me hearing all those complaining. Of all our daily conversation 60% of it are my complain. He is very patience to me tho, making me feel like im this crazy bitch who loves to whine at every single thing in her life.

Work even though I’m not the best, i did pretty well. But I am not exactly happy with the working attitude of most colleagues. Skill and proficiency is not fairly evaluated but more likely to savingmyass.com or youcovermyass.com. Perhaps they should have put “all in” in the middle of my name on my name card.

For this once I envy the Singaporean. How I wish I could throw my resignation saying “I quit!” and walk off. but sorry to say fact is I’m stuck. I have no one to blame but myself.

2 ½ year had gone by since I landed my ass here and I just turned 29 this month. Time to flashback about mission and vision before I came to this little red dot country. Trying to evaluate myself if I can consider my self as successful in life or just a pathetic loser!

I feel satisfied at some of point and happy for the achievement I’ve made. But yesterday it hit me off when I realized that my employment pass is going to expire by Feb 2011. Tho I hate it to stay but leaving the country wasn’t exactly the picture I ever thought of. Shall my boss not extending my permit or the government not approving my extension, when worst thing happen I’m still left with no savings, no plan for future. 7 months from now seems scary and real now. OMG what have I been doing for the past 2 ½ year???

I blame it that I’m not born into a rich family like most of my friends. I blame it that im the eldest in the family. I blame it that I am the bread winner. I blame it that I raise my siblings instead that supposedly my parents’ job. I blame for all the expenses that I did not consume. And at the end of the day I have no one to blame but myself.

Time to wake up, get up and stop whining.

Almost a love story

Chapter 1 - Still The Same

Today is still the same like yesterday, still the same like the day before, still the same like when I last had you in my arms. I was a reef. Then I met you crushing my ego. And I became so nothing in front of you. Can’t figure out why my heart beat so fast ~ make me hardly breath. Out so many crowd is you that I have passion for. I’m so suffering here with thousand miles apart from you. But even so I still want you in my heart. Even so I still want to treasure you. Tonight is still the same like any other night. Wish to sleep around you. Still wish to whisper you good night. Still wish having you by my side. Oyasumi dear.
Jakarta, Sunday, 11 February 2007 04.33am

Love or lust? I think love is strong enough leading to lust. I lost the capability to say no. Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong, maybe I’m the one who start seducing. Started with curiousity, followed by admiration and love grows unexpectedly. Don’t ask me how. Don’t ask me when. Don’t ask me why. The desire of wanting to get close to you is intense. Is it a fault? Gosh I’m drowning in this bottomless sea of love. Then I’m awaken by the truth that you are not mine. I started it, I must be the one to end it. Don’t get me wrong. You are my greatest expectation. Maybe you won’t believe as I don’t believe how I can fall for someone this way. But you always in my mind, very close to my heart. I found something precious yet I can’t have it in my life… it’s killing me. Somehow I know you are beyond my hand could reach. Maybe you are not created for me. But I still want to thank God for creating an Adam like you to cause me to feel this way. Will you please tell me to burn this feeling pretending it never exist. Cause yui really don’t know how to let go. Anata wo dakitai.
Jakarta, Saturday 17 February 2007 05:52am

Me without you what is the meaning of love. Is it all what’s coming to me is a dream. If only you are here. If only we are near. I would have gone after you and take back the other breath that you have taken away. Then maybe I will less crazy over you.
Jakarta, Sunday 25 Feb 2007 07.46pm



Chapter 2 - Little Wish

Times I wonder should I go this way or walk the other way. Let you go twice yet you lighted up that little wish in me. Is it a sin to have feelings for you. Is it a sin if desire you. Wish I can walk off and be cool about it but I’m here with no where to run, no where to hide, buried in my own emotion. I’m here whispering to you that me and my breath are missing you.
Jakarta, 05 May 2007 22.00pm

I found you when my heart in doubt. I found you when my soul wanna berth. I’m hoping you are my answer. If I’m to be beside you, have me with all my weakness. And when you are beside me….please don’t give up on me.
Jakarta

When you will hug me again. When you will kiss me again. The world is changing when we parted tho it was just a while ago. Here I’m leaving but this time I know I will hold you once again.
June 2007

Who are you I want to know. Are you for real or is just my fantasy. How you get yourself get in here I am so confuse. Don’t know to be blessed or irritated. Is it the curiosity that kills the cat. Knowing that one day you may leave is heartache. Will I be just a chapter in your life or should I be contented with my name nicely carved in a corner. But you are too dear. You’ve been filling the space without me realizing. When the time comes will you ever ask me if I am loving you.
Jakarta, 11 July 2007 03.42pm

If I ask you what I am to you, is that my right. Am I wasting each seconds with putting little hopes on you. Dear what should I do. Till when you keeping my heart, feeding me these romances. Will it be until I can’t stand it anymore, walk away and close our stories. Speak to me so everything is clear. God, is it my sin to have feelings for him. If I’m hurt is it my crime. God… please tell me if I have to let go.
Jakarta, 15 July 2007 02.08am

Chapter 3 - end of story
I don’t know how long I can accept being in the dark. Does he know what makes me so down. But I can’t deny I can’t bear losing him either. Not until he says this is the end. Is this chapter 3? The only person that can make me flying high is also the only one capable of making me feel buried in the ground. Is so funny how guys are the same after all but I’m so glad he fixed it from the moment I showed signs. Making me feeling somehow I mean a lot to him. Where this goes? I don’t know. Is it another mind matter game? Meanwhile just jump in and enjoy the roller coaster ride.
Jakarta, 26 July 2007

Discovering each day of my life since I found you has been wonderful. Unexpected. Speechless. Be it on web, be it in my dream or be it started when I met you. Love it to find your eyes were searching for me when I came for you. Love it when you smile. Love it to watch you asleep. Love it to feel your kiss, love it to feel your skin. And best of all, love it to share the same morning. Thank you for the unforgettable moments you gave. Thank you for bringing me much smiles. Thank you for knocking my door.
Jakarta, 08 Aug 2007 02.28am

Is this a good bye? It’s coming I feel it. End of the story?
Jakarta, 17 August 2007 01.20am

Chapter 4 - Answer

In reference to 17 August 2007 01.20am
Nearly 4 weeks have gone by since we last shared our thoughts, our feelings, our daily happenings. So much has changed during the course of this period. It must have been a shock for you to hear the words that have come out of me. I felt that it was the ‘best’ choice for me to make at the time. My feelings were all for you, but my heart was still split into two and being shared. I knew the time had come, where I must settle this and make a decision to not leave you in the dark forever. I understand how much she endured me and was willing to accept being in the dark just to share our mutual feelings. So the decision was made. This decision was to put our feelings on hold and allow me a chance to settle my emotional dilemma.

Following the chat and sms to her about ending our ‘relationship’, I was up all night, tossing and turning. I was unable to sleep. My mind was filled with many thoughts. The relationship with my gf had no feelings whatsoever. It was a dead-end relationship that was still on-going. It was this very night that I finalized my decision to bring this relationship with my gf to an end. Reason being, my heart was somewhere else. It already followed her back to Jakarta.

48 hours, I was free. The feeling of feeling single was back. But how do I contact her? I really wanted to know what she was doing. And I couldn’t keep her off of my mind. Maybe a simple SMS would do. But I held off that thought and just let go of my phone and let it sit on the table. Another week passed by before I had the courage to send my first sms to her to ask ‘how is everything and are you feeling better?’. I was delighted to receive a reply a short few minutes later. It was on a Friday evening, after work, on my way to Parkway Parade to grab dinner. I happened to be walking past the same McDonalds where we had our breakfast when her reply came back, reading “I’m doing okay”. All the memories starting coming back into my head. I smiled, and finally regained some appetite to eat my dinner.

Now this day arrives. And finally I can answer without guilt, how I feel about her.
And the answer is that my feelings have not changed for Yui. I miss Yui. And I still want to hold Yui in my arms. Yui no longer needs to be in the dark. But I give Yui the choice. Either choice she makes, Masaki’s arms will remain open for my dear Yui.

Special entry by Masaki, for Yui.
Singapore, 18 September 2007 01.33am

True love never dies for it is lust that fades away

Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away
FateDetermines Who Comes Into Our Lives,

But Heart Determines Who Stays

There is no particular reason why i am posting this. I guess I just want to free my self from the dark room.

Lady it's Petraining

Company must be damn lucky to have me here. Such a beauty, smart, dedicated…. entertaining lady. Mhmm…. Emphasizing the last one actually :D

I was writing an email to customer one fine afternoon.
Dear A,

Please find attached the billing from JP penetrating the 2 shut out containers.
[Enter]

Didn’t find anything wrong with my spelling till minutes later… Gab, my colleague shouted out “How the hell you penetrate a container?”
The email was sent to group email of each dept. A-aww…. That means EVERYBODY RECEIVED IT!!
(few minutes later) the whole office bursted into tears.

*sob sob*

While the memory of penetrating girl is still fresh, I did it again. This time... tongue twister woes. I was with my colleagues walking on the way to bus stop and Sham was making a joke on me with penetrating issue again. I was grumbling and shouted.

Me : Don’t intimate me!
Harry : What? Intimate you? Sham! What did you do to her???
Colleagues : HUAHAHHAHA

I swear I meant “Don’t IMITATE me”

Huhuhuhu T__T

My December

With few more days to Xmas... I was wondering if it is for real. Jingles are all over, Xmas trees, lights up, gifts. My fav xmas time to be in Singapore comes true but somehow feeling kinda strange. Is it because Orchard Rd is not as lively as it used to? Or is it simply my soul is somewhere else.

Perhaps people start to think and their Y2K9 resolutions andI havent think of mine yet. End of the year is time to look back. Tho I didn't accomplish as much as I expect, I'm satisfied with what I have now. Perhaps I've loosen up my self. I don't feel ambitious as much as I was tho I still drool over pretty shoes ^_^. This year it didnt turn out as I hoped nor imagined. But aint big girls dont cry?

It's been a while since my Mid Summer's Night Dream. There are times I can't differentiate if it was a dream or just my fantasy. It's frustrating. The chapter ended with going on our own. Don't ask why coz reasons are made. For the only one that has the power of manipulating my life, I guess is time to say bye. So let this December be the last memory of you.

Loanshark drama

** AH LONG PTE LTD**

This is not halloween party. It's my place where I'm staying now.

The first incident happened in the morning probably when the sky still dark. Paint was partly wet when my landlord came home from her night shift. According to my landlord the one who owe the money to loanshark is her niece who used to stay with her a couple of years ago. Police report made and the case is being handed to CID. The loanshark called back my landlord and was furious why she made a police report and said he will visit her house again.

It didn't bug me much as I heard loansharks in Singapore dare not do anything physically criminal. I almost forgot the incident and living peacefully until few weeks later, just 2 days after my landlord re-paint the door, the loanshark splashed another paint again. This time in the daylight! The police came 20 mins later after my call where I easily reach the NPP within 10 mins! And they are driving!

That wasn't all the art work. Just before the police left, they found this writing just beside the lift. We didn't see it as it was seperated by a wall.

Two days later they did it again the third time!

I'm not sure if I saw this writing when I'm back home from work. If yes that just happened within 1 hour. Could the culprit be watching me? By the third time it happened it scares me. My landlord who found it out first about an hour earlier didn't even inform me! She told me not to worry but brought her 10 year old son to live with her relative. That would make me HOME ALONE and tell me no to WORRY???!!! And I was the one who make the call!

My furiousity didn't end here. The police came 1 bloody hour after my call to report the incident. And the stupid police said my statement is not used as I am just a tenant who knows nothing about the background for the cause of these happenings. Excuse me sir, I'm calling for my safety! Two nights ago when the 2nd incident happened there was a man standing opposite of our block just standing on the staircase and doing nothing and I am lady who staying alone! Can't you just ensure me to send men to patrol at night and treat this area under surveillance?

The moron officer told me what the loanshark did was JUST doing some art work.... is not like they enter the house. HAAA??!!! Are you waiting for them to enter the house in order I can file a report? He said if my landlord do not wish to file a report that's fine, is not my job to report and beside I do not have to report "immediately". He kept repeating that his visit is a no use. He reminded me whatever I said is recorded and can be used under the law. (Hello... I am the victim here). I was even more speechless with this stupid cop when he asked me to get used to it. WHATT??!! Get used being harassed by loanshark?? For God sake is this cop pass the bar exam? Scared of home alone and furious to entertain any much longer I left the moron donkey and slammed my door. What a waste of time. Calling a friend to stay over a nite is much better option than 999.

Did you see the Crime Prevention programme? The act of this donkey make me sick. Rot to hell you bastard!

Now I got to find new habitat again. *sigh*

What does not kill me will only make me stronger

Glad the tide is finally over. Surprised is coming to end of Sept and is been long long time since I last blog. A brief update I am glad life show some leniency. I QUIT my damn job sooner than my plan of securing a replacement first. Damn sick with people wearing mask but giving injections at your back. Damn sick with two faces and politics. Feeling EMETIC with the kind of attitude from one you expect should have. Let time tells the truth and show who's the F*ker!

08.08.2008 I officially resigned and is also the same day I got confirmed to be once again family of Emirates Shipping Line. I'm taking a rest at J-town before joining on 18.08.2008. It continued with me shifting to a new place nearer to office on 08.09.2008. Hope with more 'eights' will bring me more luck. Feeling the power inside me is back. I wish to extend my gratitude to those people who had helped me go through my hard time and bring me back to life. Also thanks to those who helped me get this job. To those who pull me down I'm boasting out loud "WHAT DOES NOT KILL ME WILL ONLY MAKE ME STRONGER".

Things didnt work out the way I planned
Accepting that's not easy
But easy doesnt enter into a grown up life

I hope to get over this tide soon. God give me the strength...

Wonder Woman Is Not Dead

Kill Beauty - Save The Children

This is a really weird website for Miss Wolrd Malaysia Beauty Pagent but a great way of my sweet 'revenge'. Mission is to kill all the beauties except boss' daughter and leave the pork chop. But my mission is first kill the "he is not my boss" so kill the daughter, kill all the beauties and leave the pork chop. Hohoho.... Battosai~~~

***I'm getting old***

Funny and weird things keep coming adding more spice to my life in Singapore. This week I am a total joke. Just like any other Sat nite last week was another club session. It wasn't a plan. Ehem... I'm excusing my self (again) from being called a clubbing queen ^_^. As much as I love to dance with the music suddenly I felt an electric pain on my knee. I think some part on my knee joint is twisted and no I wasn't drunk. Not even tipsy. It hurt so bad to move my leg T__T. The next day with not much alternative choice I settle with accupuncture across my block. I dont want to call ambulance going to hospital, it scares me! (Just a week ago Wing told me he got his knee drilled with an iron rod bcoz of a motor bike accident @_@). Friends, family, colleagues were laughing hard at me telling I'm getting old and rusty. Me too is laughing at my self *LOL*. Geez I better seriously to like eating fish, drink milk, take calciums, exercise.... sexercise.... hahhaha that's just kiddin.

***Wonder Woman Is Not Dead***

July is around the corner and so is my bday. I hate July. Nope it is not the age issue. Is just I had many unpleasant things happened in July - too many till it freaks me out! This year I faced too many stress and unstability in my life. For sometime I felt numb and thought I'm dead. I barely hanging on. Then a surprise job offer came and bring me back to life. It is a very tempting challanging job that can bring me to a next step higher. I hope this year is a start of no July curse. Bday wish is to get the damn job and sent to Hong Kong for training. Watever it may come... this year I make peace with July. July bring it on again. At least Edwin has promised to treat me dinner for my bday at Angus House *drool*. Tine let's make him broke *lol*. Yay~~~ Life is not bad after all.

KL Trip

One of my this year resolution is accomplised! Yup... my KL trip! I just lurveee the hotel so much. The bed was damn good and comfy. We ordered extra pillow with no extra charges. I had 3 pillows and 1 bolster. That put me into my peaceful sleep.

Jess loves the dressing table

I was screaming when I first enter the bathroom "WHERE'S THE DOOR??" then I noticed there's a sliding door (with no lock). Otherwise Willy and me will have to take turn waiting in the lobby for shower *lol*. I love the bathroom!! Is all mirror and glass door. Bathtub is spacious for bubbling more than 1 person *wink*. I was more excited with the rain shower. And hey.. they got weighing scale and hair dryer too!
Wat a nite without tasting KL's one of the happening club. We went to Sanctuary where they played RnB. The place happened to have a duo rapper heating the club. Too bad they have no dance floor. We didn't try the Ice Bar as they require us to order a vodka or smirnof. I looked at my black label and count the person that gonna drink it. I was doubting how the 5 of us gonna able to finish it si I decided not to try the Ice Bar. At the end of the nite.... we did finish the black label. Hohoho! Don't ask me who's responsible for that cuz we gonna pin point each other *lol*.
Not the end....
Wait a minute... did I say breakfast was awesome??? The food and the scenery arose my appetite. I would definitely love to come back to this hotel again. Or perhaps for fine dining...

Die to Reborn

Things are getting from bad to worse. Work stress has come to max level that I can endure. It is affecting my personal life, affecting my health, affecting my body and soul. I don't see any reason anymore for me to keep the job and decision of resigning more or less to be confirmed soon. Is time for me to say enough is enough. I can not extend more gratitute to those friends who give me endless support and advice (despite himself is indeed given a tougher test). I know I am such a pain in the arse. Thank you for the unconditional support.

Marriage seems to be the 'in' thing for the week. First it was Haris who broke the news that he is getting married by next month. Then comes Fajar aka boxy my on and off old flame. I fed up why he yet to tell me the news! Ok then followed by Evi, the banquet will be held just 1 day before my bday. After 10+ years she still remember my bday. Back again to the so called marriage. Perhaps when the time comes then it comes. My self was surprised by a sudden sort of proposal. It came with a question "If we get married you can get a PR". (Sh*t! This guy know I need my damn PR). I regretted that I should have answered him "Can we start buying the flat?" or perhaps "How long is the marriage contract?" $$__$$ *lol* sounds more like a biz agreement to me. so much for PR... The next nite another proposal came from another guy who wants go even with Haris for marrying his fellow country lady. I know you guys will say I'm so lucky ^^. Answer is perhaps... if those were genuine ones. Hey don't take it seriously okie. But after those 10+ yrs, especially I was the arse one, the same eyes-the same way is looking at me. And that felt good.

At the end of the day. Some things start. Some things end. Some things never change.

This weekend me and friends are heading to KL to enjoy the soft opening of The Gardens. When else I can enjoy a 5 star hotel luxury at S$70/nite? Is twin sharing btw. I'm excited and hope it can wake me from my grave. I will reborn. I promise.

Can't Get Enough of J-Town

Life is back to where I last left, still crammed at work and my days are too busy even for me to pang sai*. Often I found my self having another gastric pain, only get to leave the office after dark and reached home with 10 watt energy left. It is still okie and acceptable if my hard work is paid off with a thanks or at least without critisize. What I received was a comparison? Spending a lot of time correcting 'mistakes' and fire fighting? What a motivation. Seems I am not the only one who receive that. Then what do you expect of a perfection result? I'm drowning with staff works and neglecting my purpose as a manager. I start to flip back my year 2008 resolution and try to analize by my coming bday (the perimeter where I always evaluate my self) will I be depressed or satisfied? I think I'll be far from my satisfying level. Seems my work now doesn't support me to the direction I want it to be. Where my journey goes... let's see where it flows.

*pass motion

**My Short Weekend at J-town**

Updating with my return to J-town last week. It was a short and fully packed days. Ate like a barbarics. Dinner with family. Lunch with Yenny at Red Bean. Called up some old friends for biz tie. Crash shopping and some indo snacks. Then hao lian with facial, pedicure, hair cut and higlights. Time is too short to do all the things I want. Home is more likely a hotel for my sleep only :p. Most of my times were eaten up by my dentist. I met her 3 times! My braces are taken off now and tho my chin doesn't give a perfect midline, it is still okie. The only thing I hate is my upper front teeth are proudly standing too front by 2mm than it supposed to be. Dentist blamed it on my 3 months lack of control and the wisdom tooth I've yet to extract. I hope my retainer helps.

Meeting frens were the most enjoyable part. Most of them turned up and really happy things are still the same. We had a big gathering where different group of frens came and join as one. I surely always miss the big laugh, a karaoke session, supper and a disastrous clubbin session. I wish to extend my thanks and gratitude for the welcome back and to spare their time especially for me. Shared stories abt how's work and love. When they learned reality does bites they asked if I regret and if I would make a come back. I said no. I've chosen my life to be here and I ain't giving up my heart beat.

here some pics to enjoy

Gelato Bar @ The Arcadia, Plaza Senayan
Waffle with Nutella ice cream - My weakest temptation

Flaunting my new smile

@X2, Plaza Senayan

Where there is no meeting without parting. Then I will make sure we will meet again. MISS YOU ALL GUYS! With lotsa love and hug!~yui~

*** Credit Card Bill Cry ***

The Bucket List
Rating: PG
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Language: English with No subtitles
Cast: Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, Sean Hayes, Rob Morrow
Director: Rob Reiner

I was trying my first time to book tickets via online and the website require my credit card number. Upon reading the notice "Please ensure you bring the credit card you have used to purchase these tickets. You need this card to collect your tickets." I was assuming that I will have to collect the ticket and purchase it by cash! In case I didn't turn up they will deduct it from my credit card. But I was dead wrong and they had deduct it from my Indo Credit Card! Shit! I wanna cry calculating the rate exchange yet Willy and Edwin was laughing at my stupidity.

Just like I expected the movie to be. This is one definitely a must watch movie. Each of us has a bucket list and we often get caught up with unintended direction. For me life is not about 'kicking the bucket' fullfilling every thirst of your ambitions. But is your relation with your loved ones, your family, your friends. Let's kickin it right and find the joy.

Here's some laughs I like:
Edward : You make a good successor but I'd be lying
Thomas : You are a good boss and I love my job. But I'd be lying too
Yui : I think in the end Thomas loves his job and he does love his boss. Is he the narator? Well he climbed up the Himalayas just to bury the two buddies ashes. Did I say they are canned? :D

Thomas : I think he'll like this place to be the resting place. It is against the law
Yui : HAHAHA

Carter : You are Tommy or Thomas?

Thomas : Mathew actually

Thomas : I am proud of you

Edward : Nobody cares your opinion

Company Outing @ Kukup Island and Malacca

The long weekend I was supposed to back to home town but my dentist cancel the appointment at last minute! Reason simply bcoz the lab isn't open and she has no assistance. I was really frustrated as I had confirmed with her weeks ago, already asked for leave with boss and I even bought my ticket! *knn*. No choice but to postpone. So I joined the company outing for 3 days 2 nite to Kukup Island and Malacca. Here's some pic


We staying at this big bungalow at RM1600/nite. The price shocked me but relieved that include our 3 meals. The 5 rooms are big enough to accomodate 20 people. The houses here are supported by pillars and your shit will go straight down whereby the fishes below are awaiting their meals.... FRESH! :D

On boat visiting Lelong. Good biz!

Actually is not a bad life at Kukup. The people lead a peaceful and quiet life here. We had our BBQ outside the bungalow and our neighbour played some fire crackers just above us. It was a really nice way to enjoy dinner.

my mind wondered somewhere else. anata ni aitai~~

I Had Otah and floss on my burger *yummy*

READ AGAIN! It says 2nd piece RM1 "terms and condition" apply!

That's my ice chendol at Jonker Walk, Malacca


Make a livin by twisting wire? The teens love this.

>>>BACK TO RED DOT<<<

After back from the outing I'm down with throat immflamation. I guess I ate too much junk food. Then I had my fever and headache. It's really sucks to fall sick on a strange land without a family. How I wish my mom is around or maybe my lil bro will do. At least I don't have to drag my feet just to go across the street to buy my own food. Work is getting crazy now and I'm pretty stressed up trying to survive and breath at the same time. Again I find my self back home in low battery mode, can't do anything else beside lying on the bed and cool my self with air-con. The next thing I know my alarm clock awakes me again. *sigh*

The pressure I have tempted me not to give a shit. Is it worth it to sacrifice the rest of the time left in a day to devote with your job? (Well I don't mind if it is my own biz). Then I looked around and wondering if I am the only one who felt the pressure. Seems I am not the only one who felt like crying. There are others who still go home later than I do and home is further than I do. Am I just whining? Or is it bcoz they need the job badly? Afterall we are the same foreigner who work under work pass. Losing the job means you will have to leave the country. Unless you find another employer. No I ain't giving up now but I need my PR badly.

Next week I'm flying back to my J-town for my dentist appoinment. It's time for Yui to smile freely without her braces on. I can't wait to smile better now \(^_^)/. I miss my family, my friends, my fav food. So many things to catch up with so little time. I can't wait!

beginning to count down...

Big Crab and Learn Jap

The Leap Years
Genre: Romance
Language: English / Cantonese (English & Chinese subtitles available)
Cast: Joan Chen, Wong Li Lin, Ananda Mathew Everingham, Qi Yu Wu
Director: Jean Yeo

I should say this is a pretty good movie for a local movie. I wouldn't have guessed if I was not being told. The actresses are good especially Ananda the Thai leading actor (he's HOT) *lol*. Mediacorp has done a good job in choosing the supporting actress, with a real goochie babes to soothe the viewer's sore eyes.
As for the story I do not like it. It's really pathetic to be able to see "all you ever dream of" just one day in every four years. Hey even the lady who lived in the moon able to see her man once a year. And I do not quite like Raymond role. I dont feel his passion in chasing Li Ann. He can't even soothe his bride feelings when she was in doubt and asked "Why Me?". Idiot. If he knows how to make his bride feel secured and assured. I bet there is no runaway bride. What a shame. And I was frustrated too why Jeremy took god damn 12 years to finally say "I love you" (and that was in a letter). Another idiot! The story is very much a novel. Not kinda real stuff. But I like the heroine role. How she was so daring to propose a stranger, how she fall in love helplessly, how she keep in faith when everybody around her ask her to forget, how she walked off so cool and collapsed short after, how she run for her only destiny. That's how a lady should be.
Overall not a bad movie to watch. I score 3/5.

*** BIG CRAB and Learn Jap ***

The weekend was a dinner with my Singaporean high school friend and his gf. After my 2 months settling here this was my only first time to catch up with them. Sebas took us to eat Crab at Toa Payoh Lor 8. The food was really fantastic! The fried tofu, guiness pork and crabs are really good~~. The $50/pax was really worth lickin my fingers. Jess said I have 9 more dishes of crab to go. *wiping my saliva* I need to upgrade my engine.

The night was still young that we decided to go chill out at Big Splash at East Coast and we got interested in trying this bistro called Twenty Six. Is definitely a nice hang out to chit chat and sit comfortably with friends.

Twenty Six @ Big Splash, East Coast

Jess remembered that I never tried a sake before so she suggested to order a 720ml Kiku sake. A light and easy to drink sake with flowery taste. The bottle came and we had our first kampei then Jess was trying to show me the percentage of alcohol content when she realised the bottle was only 320ml! So we told the waitress about the mistake and got our first shot FREE! This bottle cost $28++. I like this sake

Another waiter came to apologize and excused themselves because all the bottles are written in Japanese so none of them can understand it. He said there are no 720ml bottles in stock (then why the hell they put so many sakes on the list). So we left with either 320ml or 500ml. We chose a 500ml sake with lemon taste that cost $50++. So this big and nice Iichiko sake came and we started drinking with adding plain cold water. This iichiko taste like whisky and really strong if you don't add water. After endless of drinking the 4 of us still can't finish the bottle. It was only when Willy felt why the previous 320ml bottle we can finish in 2 shots but this 500ml was unfinishable. There it was on the bottle read 720ml! Bang. This bottle cost $150++. Huahaha what a terrible silly mistake. We paid as we've ordered. Now they really in need to learn Jap.

I guess the four of us will not be around in this place for at least half a year. Hahaha

Clubbing Queen

Ehem... yes it was another clubbing and it was at MOS again. Can't believe of my 3 consecutive weeks of clubbing! This is too much *blush*. Will stay away from night life till further notice. Otherwise I soon to have 'clubbing queen' marking stamped on my forehead hahaha. This time round no tipsy (Willy teased me alot bcuz of my last week merlion show). Eventho I enjoyed the nite.

Yui-Willy-Yulim

posing at the entrance

MOS again

I guess I am turning to a clubbing queen soon. Yes, it was another MOS nite AGAIN last week. Unlike last week, this clubbing session was not on my agenda. No kidding, i was about to go home after wine tasting at Alley Bar until Yen called up and asked if I want to join her and her friends. Apparently Willy and Christine were ready for MOS too with their friends. (i'm trying to excuse my self hahaha). The difference is I drank more this time. 5-6 bottoms up in a row? I lost count (- -"). I hope this week is not another club. Hahaha let's see...

It's getting HOT here at Pure room

**************

It's sex & the city the MOVIE! I CAN'T WAIT!!!! I love the serials and I'll sure to love the movie.

And hey hey hey... Carrie is getting married??!!! With his on and off relationship guy Mr.Big??? It can't be. Mr.Big is only meant as her 'wishful thinking' decorating her book! Let him rot there. In real life Carrie is marrying a down to earth man that fall over heels with her. Or.... maybe she's posing for Vogue magz? It is possible! Yup I can't handle the truth. She is successul, she got soulmates (her girlfriends), she got fame and now she got MR.BIG?? I am jealous!

some things begin. some things end. some things never change.

First MOS nite

Happily announced after my 7th week in this “fine” city I had my first taste of clubbing. It happened that my friend suggested to club on the week at MOS (Ministry Of Sound) and Yen (my other half if one of us happen to be a guy) also initiated the same *yay*. The more the merrier. Probably she read my mind that I am very much tempted to explore the hot night spots, especially when it comes with flash lights, loud music and of course drinks to dance the night ^_~.

We decided to open table and ordered a bottle of Martel and Chivas so 11 of us can sit comfortably on the sofa. It didn’t take me long after few kampei and I started exploring every corner in the club. The club is really cool. They have 5 rooms with different ambience and music genres. Found out the place to be bigger than X2 (Jakarta) which has 4 rooms. Here’s my comparison:

MOS, Singapore
Entrance Fee : SGD20/person (include first drink)
2 bottles of liquor : SGD388
Crowd : poly students, young proffesionals

X2, Jakarta
Entrance Fee : Rp100,000 (SGD16)/person (include first drink)
1 bottle of hard liquor : SGD185
Minimum $ spent to get a sofa : SGD538
Crowd : high socialiates, young proffesionals

Hmm... seems club at Singapore is more affordable. Surprised! The best about clubbing at Singapore? It’s SMOKE FREE! I am so happy to reach home without my hair and clothes smell of ciggies. It was really an enjoying night. Hell why there is no dice game here? (Medan kia, they play five ten). Looking forward to the next stop ^_^
P.S: I am waiting for my partner in crime to join me and sweep away all the clubs in town. *Yippy* Shit! I am getting addicted with this night life again. Hahaha

Love is in the air

When it comes to V-Day, I am not as much a romantic as any other female. It’s like why pressure your self to show love in this particular day in the calendar?

On what so call a love day I am often being asked the same question year after year. “Do you have a date tonite? What’s your bf get you? Where he brings you to dinner? How many stalks of roses did you get? Bla bla bla” :Pfffhhh what’s with this ‘measurement’ question checking out whose date is spending big enough to make you feel the “winner”. What if I am dating my self? I enjoy my own company and it doesn’t make sense? Remember Carren Bradshaw on Sex on The City? She married to her Manolo Blahnik. And not only the girls but the guys too seem to force their wallet to the maximum limit. For the girl’s sake or pride sake?

I am not being a cynical. I do enjoy strolling on the beach or city lights. I would never turn down dinners, presents, chocolates or flowers. I just do not want this particular day as the perimeter of my romance. This sounds cliché but if you love someone isn’t everyday should be a Valentine’s Day?

I am not a fan for any kind of celebrations tho. And my celebration here means a real money pouring celebration. 36 roses cost 600 bucks? Hell! Just pass me the damn hard cash and I can be assured to make my self heart-contented. A Singapore flyer? No no no I can’t imagine my self stuck in that small cubicle for 40 mins just to view what? Neighbouring island? C’mon be more exciting. Like on board on hot air-ballon (pls with nice scenery) or a helicopter.

Anyway love is in the air. Receiving sms/emails little did boost my mood in spreading the love. Even the guys seem to be as much excited as the girls. Perhaps I am the alien here? In Japan and Korea the girls are more expressive to give out chocolates for the man they adore. Here we see the guys are the ones pampering the ladies. \ (^_^) /

Don’t ask me what I want for a present. I’ll start talking nonsense like having Black Valentine as my gift. It’s chopard btw. I’ll melt immediately. Guarantee! Hahaha hey at least I’m not like Fann Wong who wants a flower painting that cost S$400,000.

Well if I am to celebrate it with my other half, then preparing and cooking dinner together will be far enjoyable than any posh restaurant. Otherwise I’d love to spend the nite having dinner with my closest frens having steak at Abuba and sharing a big bar of Toblerone. Yeah guys… I miss that time and hope we can share an ice cream cake. Gelato bar with 9 scoops? *slurp*

Then I remember of my ex who don’t quite agree with my no celebration thinking and said it would be nice if we are to celebrate, we’ll have memories. Found it to be right J. You remember it well that you were damn broke for the entire month! Hahaha well maybe I was just too hardened but thanks for the effort. Hope this little memory will light up your gloomy vday. It’s a day to show love anyway (hey it doesn't come free. I'm not kiddin. I want my white teddy!) Happy Valentine’s Day! ^_~

2008 Resolution

I know I am late for this. Is already Feb! Pls excuse me for the past fast paced changes in my life. So after reorganizing my life, here's the list:
1) Read read read! Improve my English i/o Singlish, equipped my self with more knowledge.
2)Pick up my Mandarin. A Chinese yet not knowing her own language is a shame.
3) Get stable with my job/career. Love it or leave it.
4) Work out. Be it jogging, cycling. Gosh~~ I can’t believe I’m writing this as one of my resolution. It is almost a mission impossible for a Yui to work out. Can a 20mins walking everyday from bus stop-office be considered as work out? :D I rather have a shopping marathon. Well I won’t mind with heels either :p
5) Okie this is serious. Get a healthy life style. Start with an early morning, get a breakfast before off to work, have a 3 times meal a day, drink milk and vitamins. Sleep early and stay away from night outs or drinks on weekdays. DON’T LAUGH AT ME!
6) Socialize and know more people from all over the world. Singapore is a best place to get international acquaintance. Make use of it. No I’m not interested in dating ang mohs :D
7) Get my driving license. Whether I can take the wheel or not it doesn’t matter.
8) Lasik surgery. I’m tired of wearing contact lens and I hate glasses.
9) Learn finance. Be it taking class, seminar or self study. Damn I need to upgrade my self.
10) What is work without vacation? Bali, Thailand, Genting, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong. Okie.. I’ll be much satisfied with these places. Guys… China trip on Oct still on? Count me in!
11) Bring my family member to travel overseas.
12) Learn cooking and master few dishes.
13) Lastly… closer to God.

Living it up Singapore

Is been three weeks since I’m here in Singapore. Lot and lots of updates for sure. Life has been very much exhausting and I’m still handling with this sudden changes. 24 hours a day is never been enough. I should say I am very much privileged back at Jakarta where I woke up at 8am. Now the sky still dark and I have to get my arse out of the bed. I should leave home latest by 7.15am if I don’t want to be late for work. My journey took me an hour by bus and another 15 minutes walking distance from the bus stop to my office. That makes an almost 3 hours journey spent each day. Damn! In Jakarta I enjoyed at 10 minutes journey which allow me to wake up as late as 8am. So that left me with only 2-3 hours/day for my self to shower and do my own stuff. That includes washing, ironing and cleaning my room. My mom bursted to laughter how her xiao jie daughter can be so Cinderella. God please send me a prince, he doesn’t have to rescue me and make me a princess. I only need him to replace me doing the house chores :D (i suppose i need a free maid?)

I already miss home. My appetite decreased too but I don’t think I I lost weight cuz my leg will show some improvement with bigger muscles :D. I’ve forgotten about my heels and stick to my one and only Charles & Keith sandal. Well I would have chosen my electric green rubber slipper if is my own office :p

Loneliness is one of my big issue that I should handle with. Especially staying alone with no entertainment. Not kinda used to eating dinner alone where I always can anytime call up one of my ‘stock’ for dinner or just a simple dinner down my apt’s food court with my brother/sister. And there was always once or twice in weekday I would hang out for pool or chilling at the café with friends. Here I will have to think where and what I want to eat.

Work has showed some activities but is far from exciting. I shouldn’t complain much as I am in the process in knowing the company better and how things work here. I am targeting my self by end of Feb I should be able to show sign of progress. But to be honestly speaking I am not quite sure if I ‘belong’ here. Somehow I feel something amiss but not too sure what it is. The word “Don’t let your self stranded” somehow did affect me a little. Colleagues are mostly females, the species that is harder for me to get along with :p

I am getting to miss home. Miss my family, miss my friends. Just to throw my frustration... My fren at Indo, Willyam, texted me on Saturday midnite.... SHOCKED me from my feeling high of wine effect, with news that my another fren, Asen, is on ICU. This arsehole didn’t even pick up my IDD call and make me even more worried. Turned out I’ve been punked! Shoot you arsehole! I will send my phone bill, insurance bill and medication for shock therapy to you! !@#$%^&*()

My last week at J-town

Thursday, 03 Jan 2008

It's really surprising and touching that my colleagues throwed a farewell party for me. Not only the dinner arrangement but suddenly my colleague was "proposing" me with a gift in a jewel box. It came with a card too which I see it more like a valentine card rather than a farewell card. I was in between happy and couldn't believe my eyes making sure if the gift is for real. (Don't tell me is just the packaging and gives me false hope). I opened the gift box slowly... and HA!!! I got earrings! Yay~~ they know me good that I react especially with bling bling precious stones *LOL*

Thanks all for the memorable moments, those up and downs, our daily shits and laughs. I'm gonna miss you all. You guys are simply ROCK!

Farewell at IZZI PIZZA

Saturday, 05 Jan 2008
Saturday dinner was at Hanamasa buffet dinner sponsored by Joel & Jag, Mr&Mrs Tony, Willyam and Asen. Didn't expect them to be this 'thoughtful' and I'm really really touched. I cannot say more than to extend my thanks to them.

Priceless

Dinnew was followed with againnnnnn another pool game. No is not the pool. Is the guessing dice game that we all got addicted of. Fajar aka who just touched down J-town and suffered from jet lag didn't want to miss a thing and showed up. Another group of mine came and joined the crowd. The 'necessary evil' must have done a good job breaking the ice. After few rounds where everybody had a taste of losing, the crowd started to high five each other and enjoyed the game terribly. Thanks Heineken! I guess they didn't 'lose a friend' but gained more friends instead.

addicted

faces all red

Sunday, 06 Jan 2008
Sunday morning is dim sum at Taipan with Irwan and GF-Sisca. Irwan just back to J-town a week ago after a year spent at overseas and yeah we got lots of things to bitch about.

Dim Sum @ Taipan

Nite is another group gathering. I really miss karaoke with this group so I decided my farewell on karaoke. Heineken is still a must order item but glad the hell drinkers has retired. We ended up with only 2 pitchers. Johannes made it to come at last minute and gave out his wedding invitation which will be on 12 Jan. Too bad I've confirmed my ticket, if I've known earlier I'll choose Sunday flight. The newly wed will go to Singapore on 14 Jan. Maybe we'll catch up at then. Anway congrats to the them! *cheers*

MKP gang

Memoirs

Monday, 07 Jan 2008
My expertise in packing has showed improvement. The day is busy with liasing with bankings stuff, exchange Sing dollars (geez it's Rp6,615 against S$1!), doing my girly thing with facial & pedicure and lastly.... my dentist appointment! I was consulting with my dentist to remove the braces today or March instead but big change of plan! Tommorow I need to do operation to extract my two sleeping teeth. BANG! Is a tommorow must thing to do or removing braces will postpone up to 6 months later (- -"). I guess I may need to postpone my flight and go back on Chinese New Year. To make it worse I didn't have the spare money for this emergency operation and credit card has showed sign of over limit. Yes I shopped alotttt. (imagining my poor days at Singapore). I guess I need to take up pole dancing class in case of real broke emergency I can still do part time *lol*.

Another big news... my cousin Venny is expecting her first baby. She made a real fast decision today to deliver the baby as soon as tommorow morning through caesar operation. Yay~~ I'll make it to see the baby before leaving. Hmm... seems my last 3 days at J-town is getting more exciting.

to be continued...